Traditionally, the holiday season is a time of joy and celebration, but it can present unique challenges for caregivers. Between managing regular caregiving duties and meeting heightened holiday expectations, many caregivers struggle to maintain balance.
“The holidays can be very stressful for caregivers,” said Crystal L. Walter, a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) at UT Physicians Center for Healthy Aging – Bellaire Station. “Time management becomes especially challenging – from hosting to taking loved ones out and about to preparing their homes for social gatherings.”
Setting boundaries with grace
One of the crucial strategies for caregivers during the holidays is establishing clear boundaries with family and friends. Walter emphasized the importance of honest, courageous conversations. For those feeling overwhelmed, Walter said it’s OK to verbalize if your world is busy and hectic. Consider offering to take your loved one to them for a visit versus having them come to your home.
“This gives you some time to do things around your home or just have a break,” Walter said.
She suggests a practical approach to family assistance. Rather than gifts, she proposes giving family tasks they can help with.
“Let them know you don’t need gifts,” Walter said. “Provide a list of things that would be helpful for them to do for you during the holidays.”
Holiday time is supposed to be a time of respite for the caregiver, too. They should have something to look forward to during the holidays beyond caring for others and making sure others are having a good time.
Managing emotional challenges
The holidays can intensify feelings of guilt and resentment for caregivers. Instead, Walter advocates for self-compassion and giving yourself permission to celebrate and be in the moment with family and friends.
“Give yourself grace instead of giving yourself guilt and resentment,” Walter said. “We’re human, not robots. We have feelings, and caregiving is a labor of love.”
Caregiving also is challenging and often comes with sacrifices, Walter said. Caregivers during the holidays can feel conflicted. She said it’s normal to have those feelings, so acknowledging your feelings is important. Then release it.
“We don’t have to internalize it, and it doesn’t have to stay there,” Walter said. “Focus on creating memories, having gratitude in the moment, and moving forward. It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves.”
Creating moments of peace
Finding ways to maintain personal well-being is essential. Walter strongly recommends creating a dedicated place for self-care.
“You should have a space just for you that the person you’re caring for doesn’t have access to. It might only be your closet or bedroom, but create that space and practice the art of mindfulness,” she said.
When feelings of frustration arise, Walter suggests taking those deep inhales and exhales and breathing through moments of anxiousness.
“Before you speak, just breathe because words can be very volatile when we’re in that headspace,” Walter said. “Stepping away to get yourself together is OK, and it’s needed.”
Finding support
Caregivers don’t have to navigate the holiday season alone. Walter recommends several support options:
- Connecting with family and chosen family members who provide a safe space for honest conversations
- Exploring telemedicine therapy options, which allow for professional support from home
- Participating in local support groups
- Investigating respite care services through insurance providers
“The fact that you’re able to be a caregiver already speaks to your strength,” Walter said. “When we model this type of care, it allows other people to feel and relate to you in that same way.”
By setting boundaries, accepting help, and practicing self-care, caregivers can work toward creating a holiday atmosphere that brings joy to their loved ones and themselves.
