Deep relaxation during a sound bath. Mindful tea drinking. Unleashing creativity through art to solve caregiver challenges. These interactive experiences are just a few highlights from the UT Physicians Center for Healthy Aging C.A.R.E. Givers Retreat that gave caregivers much-needed relief on a recent August day.
The Saturday was more than a break; it was a sanctuary where caregivers could relax, connect, learn, and see that they weren’t alone. Attendees shared stories, laughter, and tears as they discovered or were reminded of their invaluable work.
“Enjoy the day. It’s a labor of love,” said Crystal L. Walter, licensed clinical social worker at UT Physicians Center for Healthy Aging – Bellaire Station, as she kicked off the retreat. “We want you to take care of you. You’re doing serious work — heavy lifting physically and emotionally.”
Caregiver life expectancy is a hot topic in health care, where caregivers often die before their loved ones. This unfortunate reality is often attributed to the physical strain, chronic stress, lack of support, and health conditions that go ignored. Walter dreamed of providing this interactive day for UT Physicians patients, their caregivers, and the community at no cost.
“When you’re in caregiver mode, it can feel like no one has time to care for you. I’ve been there, having served as my father’s caregiver for 13 years before his passing in 2021,” Walter said. “We’re expected to be the strong person, and that’s what drove my vision for this retreat.”
Common bonds enabled attendees to feel community and comfort among strangers. The culture and feeling of trust were palpable as caregivers offered advice, smiles, and hugs.
Showing up is the first step
As the caregiver for her 40-year-old son and husband, DeAtra Vaughn understands the value of time away to recharge. Vaughn was excited to attend the retreat because she enjoys being a caregiver and wants to share what she learns with others. She often helps her friends by sitting with their loved ones so they can get away.
“Caregiving is a lot of work, with ups and downs around the clock,” Vaughn said. “You need to get out and relax your body and mind. It’s nice to show up at the retreat and not have to do anything else.”
Melodie Smith attended the retreat to proactively gather resources and information. Smith’s mother is a UT Physicians Center for Healthy Aging patient, and she’s her sole caregiver.
“Being around others also helps with the sense of isolation by not feeling alone,” Smith said. “As an only child, I don’t have other family support.”
Leaning on a village
Leadership was strong, present, and vested in the retreat. They included Faith D. Atai, MD, and Maureen S. Beck, DNP, co-medical directors of UT Physicians Center for Healthy Aging – Bellaire Station, and Holly Holmes, MD, division director of the Joan and Stanford Alexander Division of Geriatric and Palliative Medicine at McGovern Medical School at UTHealth Houston. They supported the vision, knowing from personal experience what being a dedicated caregiver is like.
Lawanda Tensley, a community health worker at UT Physicians Center for Healthy Aging and UT Physicians Multispecialty – Bellaire Station, proudly volunteered at the retreat.
“Seeing everyone made me feel like we’re making a difference,” Tensley said. “Caregivers are not just existing but also getting resources to thrive. And their loved ones who attended the adult day center were well cared for. That’s what it’s all about.”
Living in the moment without expectations
Several themes emerged throughout the day during the breakout and large group sessions.
Mindfulness is important.
Caregivers took part in interactive experiences they can now put into action during times of stress or when feeling overwhelmed. One focused on taking long, slow, deep breaths to relax the body. Another related to cultivating kindness in the moment regarding their loved one.
It’s not about perfection.
Caregivers completed a self-assessment to understand areas where they could improve their focus on self-care. These included physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, and relationship aspects. Attendees were reminded to celebrate baby steps.
It’s kind to take care of yourself.
Attendees also created a self-care goal with a measurable outcome. To put things in perspective, they were asked to consider this question: “Think about what would happen to your loved one if you disappear tomorrow.”
Making a difference
Tandelyn Weaver, a caregiver, gained a new appreciation for self-care at the retreat.
“We’re experiencing fun ways to care for ourselves,” Weaver said. “I’m glad to attend this workshop versus others about education. I’m more aware of how important it is to care for myself and enjoy the fullness of that statement!”
Several UTHealth Houston employees who are caregivers attended the retreat. Meredith Raine, assistant vice president of public affairs at UTHealth Houston, is beginning her caregiver journey and has already felt overwhelmed.
“The moment I realized I was going to need help, I received an invitation to the caregivers retreat,” Raine said. “I signed up immediately, and I’m so glad I did. Being with seasoned caregivers and health and wellness professionals gave me the coping tools and encouragement I need to be a better caregiver, not only for my mom but also for myself.”
Diann Valentine described the day as the best caregiver conference she’s attended. She takes care of her husband, who is disabled with terminal cancer. She’s a patient at the Center for Healthy Aging and participates in the monthly caregiver support group that Walter leads on the fourth Wednesday of every month.
“I use the resources here at the Center for Healthy Aging, so I scored well in my self-care assessment at the retreat,” Valentine said.
Valentine is a good example of how using available resources and time away has translated into being a better caregiver for her husband. Caregivers can have more to give when they take care of their own needs, too.
View images from the caregiver retreat.
